Secrets of the Dripping Fang #04; Fall of the House of Mandible by Dan Greenburg; Illustrated by Scott M. Fischer
	List Price:   $9.95 Unit Price:   $7.96 You Save:   $1.99 (20%) ISBN-10:   0152054758 ISBN-13:   9780152054755 Publisher:   Houghton Mifflin Harcourt; Harcourt Children's Books Series:   An Outrageously Funny Ser. Edition:   illustrated Category:   Reading Series Pages:   160 Format:   Hardcover; Paper over boards
Awards
1994  Leslie Bradshaw Award for Young Readers  Nominee/Honoree  2004  Buckeye Children's Book Award  Nominee/Honoree  2006  Beehive Children's Fictional Book Award  Nominee/Honoree
Subjects
CHILDREN'S FICTION
Description/Notes
The fourth book in a hilarious series about two orphans and a world of monsters Things seem pretty hopeless for the Shluffmuffin family in the fourth book in this hilarious series. The treacherous Mandible sisters have kidnapped Cheyenne again, and it's up to Wally to rescue her. And not only is their adoring dad a vampire, but lately he's taken up all sorts of offensive and unsavory activities like 'volunteering' at a bloodmobile and licking strangers' bleeding wounds on buses. Gross! Throw in thirty-six grubby orphans singing show tunes, a bizarre plot to overthrow the human race with a flu virus sprayed out of perfume bottles, and some deadly, chatty wolves, and things in Dripping Fang Forest couldn't get much more surreal. But when Wally comes up with a brilliant SWAT team-style commando plan to get Cheyenne back, the Onts just may be defeated once and for all. (Yeah, right . . .) The No Child Left Alive Program 'Let me tell you how much I hate human children,' said Dagmar Mandible to her sister, Hedy. Dagmar gazed down the row of waxy green cornstalks where the Shluffmuffin twins had vanished and cursed softly under her breath. Nourished by the gentle Cincinnati rains, this year’s cornstalks grew higher, bushier, and more lushly than those in the rain forest, assuming that corn grows in the rain forest, a shaky assumption at best. 'No,hateis too weak a word,' said Dagmar, adjusting her wide-brimmed black hat above her sunglasses. 'Let me tell you how much Iloathe . . . despise . . . detest . . . abhorand . . .abominatehuman children.' 'Oh, Dagmar, you’re just mad because Cheyenne and Wally got away from us again,' said Hedy. This was not untrue. Cheyenne and Wally Shluffmuffin were the snotty ten-year-old orphans that Dagmar and Hedy had found in the Jolly Days Orphanage and chosen for a trial adoption. On their first night at Mandible House in the hushed and lovely Dripping Fang Forest, Dagmar and Hedy got the twins settled in their cheery bedrooms and served them a nutritious all-chocolate welcome dinner. But after dinner the nosy kids began snooping about. And just because they discovered that Dagmar and Hedy were giant ants who were breeding a race of super-ants to replace mankind and end life on Earth as we know it, those ungrateful little brats ran away. Fortunately, Dagmar and Hedy were able to recapture them a scant few weeks later. But on the cab ride back to Mandible House, the twins claimed to need a bathroom so badly they were about to poop their pants, and Dagmar had compassionately ordered the driver to stop at a gas station restroom. Cheyenne and Wally went in, locked the restroom doors, and escaped through the windows and into the cornfield before the Mandible sisters could catch them. 'Yes, Iammad that Cheyenne and Walter got away from us again,' said Dagmar. 'But that has little to do with how much I hate human children. Hate their soft spongy flesh. Hate their soft horrid hair. Hate their watery little eyes. Hate their moist pink mouths. Hate the revolting heat that radiates from their limp, flabby bodies with the skeletons on theinsideinstead of on theoutsidewhere skeletons belong.' From beyond the white concrete restrooms adjoining the cornfield, the horn of a car began beeping loudly, angrily, and unceasingly. Dagmar pretended not to notice. 'So, dearest one, how do we get the repulsive little wretches back?' asked Hedy. 'Run down the corn rows and hope to catch up with them?' 'No, no, nothing as tiresome as that,' said Dagmar. 'We need to get the big picture. We need to fly up above the cornfield and see where they’re hiding.' 'Unfortunately,' said Hedy, 'we’re not the flying variety of ants.' 'No,' said Dagmar, 'we’re thehiringvariety. Let’s go to the nearest airport and hire ourselves a pair of wings.' The beeping of the horn was now so loud and so insistent, it was impossible to ignore. Taking their own sweet time about it, Dagmar and Hedy circled the restrooms and returned to the taxicab that was waiting for them, its meter running. 'All right, driver,' Dagmar announced, approaching the cab, 'there’s been a slight change of plan. You will now drive us to the nearest airport that you know of where we can hire a pilot and a small crop-dusting plane.' 'A pilot and awhat?' shouted the driver, his face turning purple. 'I am certain you heard me,' said Dagmar. 'First it’s ‘Drive us to Dripping Fang Forest,& After the Mandible sisters kidnap his sister Cheyenne, Wally seeks the help of a group of orphans and his vampire father.