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Playful Parenting by Lawrence J. Cohen |
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PARENTING | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Have you ever stepped back to watch what really goes on when your children play? As psychologist Lawrence J. Cohen points out, play is childrens way of exploring the world, communicating deep feelings, getting close to those they care about, working through stressful situations, and simply blowing off steam. Thats why playful parenting is so important and so successful in building strong, close bonds between parents and children. Through play we join our kids in their worldand help them to Express and understand complex emotions Break through shyness, anger, and fear Empower themselves and respect diversity Play their way through sibling rivalry Cooperate without power struggles From eliciting a giggle during babys first game of peekaboo to cracking jokes with a teenager while hanging out at the mall, Playful Parenting is a complete guide to using play to raise confident children. Written with love and humor, brimming with good advice and revealing anecdotes, and grounded in the latest research, this book will make you laugh even as it makes you wise in the ways of being an effective, enthusiastic parent. A welcome reminder that the serious business of parenthood also can be fun. Seattle Post-Intelligencer A MAGICAL AND INSPIRING READ. MICHAEL THOMPSON, Ph.D. Coauthor ofBest Friends, Worst Enemies READING THIS BOOK, YOULL DISCOVER THAT YOU CAN BE CLOSER TO YOUR CHILDREN AND CAN ENJOY THEM MORE. . . . Youll learn what a difference play can make in your relationships and the kind of people your children will become. And, most important, youll have fun. Chicago Parent CHAPTER 1 THE VALUE OF BEING A PLAYFUL PARENT Play is the essence of life. Think about the loving gaze of an infant, the no-holds-barred embrace of a toddler, the intimacy of a shared bedtime story, or a silent hand-in-hand walk. These moments of heartfelt connection with our children are part of the great payoff for the hard work of parenting. Yet this connection all too often eludes us. We find ourselves locked in battle instead of joined in partnership. We all know the rest: the inconsolable baby, the toddler in the throes of a tantrum, the third-grader in a huff over bedtimes, the twelve-year-old sulking in her room. Childrens natural exuberance and exploration often gives way to what I call fighting and biting. Or they hide themselves behind a Gameboy or a locked door. Meanwhile, our profound feeling of parental love is replaced by resentment and aggravation, even rage. We nag or punish, or we say, Fine, stay in your room. We yell when we reach the end of our rope, or just out of habit. All because we feel helpless, rejected, and cut off. We want to reconnect, as much as our children do, but we dont know how. We still love them, but we barely remember those melting eye gazes of babyhood. If we do remember, it is a bittersweet memory, as if that closeness were lost forever. Playtogether with what I call Playful Parentingcan be the long-sought bridge back to that deep emotional bond between parent and child. Play, with all its exuberance and delighted togetherness, can ease the stress of parenting. Playful Parenting is a way to enter a childs world, on the childs terms, in order to foster closeness, confidence, and connection. When all is well in their world, play is an expansive vista where children are joyful, engaged, cooperative, and creative. Play is also the way that children make the world their own, exploring, making sense of all their new experiences, and recovering from lifes upsets. But play is not always easy for adults, because we have forgotten so much. Indeed, children and adults often seem to reside in radically different worlds, even within the same household. We find each others favorite activities boring or strange: How can she spend all afternoon dressing up Barbies? How can they sit around all evening just talking? Parenting and playfulness can seem like contradictions, but sometimes we just need a little push to find one another and have fun together. I was at an outdoor concert, dancing off on the side with my nine-year-old daughter, when a mother and son came over to the dance area. She started dancing a little, but he just stood with his arms folded, a little too shy to dance now that he was there. He was about six or seven. His mother said, starting to get angry, You dragged me up here, and now youre not going to dance? He folded his arms tighter and literally dug his heels in. I thought, We can all see where this is going. I said, Oh no, hes doing a new dance, and I folded my arms just like his and gave him a big smile. He smiled back and moved his hands to a different position, which I copied. His mom caught on right away and started copying him, too. We all laughed. He started moving his shoulders up and down to the music, and his mother said, Youre dancing! Then he started to dance, and he had a great time. We all did (including my daughter, who waited patiently while I did the Playful Parenting thing, and then wanted my complete attention again). A little playfulness turned the tide. This small episode demonstrates that Playful Parenting can happen anywhere and anytime, not just during designated playtimes. Playful Parenting begins with play, but it includes much morefrom comforting a c Winner of the 2001 NAPPA Gold Award for distinction as a parenting resource book, 'Playful Parenting' offers an exciting new approach to raising children. Have you ever stepped back to watch what really goes on when your children play? As psychologist Lawrence Cohen points out, play is every child's way of exploring the world, communicating deep feelings, getting close to those they care about, working through stress, and simply blowing off steam. In 'Playful Parenting,' Dr. Cohen discusses how to get down on the floor and join children on their own terms, in ways that will help nurture close connections, solve behavior problems, and encourage confidence -- whether it's gazing deep into a baby's eyes, playing chase with a toddler, fantasy play with a grade-schooler, or reducing a totally cool teenager to helpless laughter. Copyright ? Libri GmbH. All rights reserved. |
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